contented.

It's the middle of the night and there are too many things on my mind to sleep.

I asked God to make me sure-footed and sure-worded in all that I say and do. This is the acknowledgement and affirmation that my Father gave to me . . .  I feel like I've been shown some long lost treasure. Some gem, that even if I were smart or crafty or smooth enough to search it out on my own, I would never ever match up to it.  I feel as though I've been given access to a holy, holy room that only few are chosen for.  Jesus is real, Jesus' love is real, and the bible says that He loves me with a passion that I will never ever be able to measure.  I feel it from my family, I feel it from my friends, I feel it from my dearest, and I feel it in the crystal clear, starry sky tonight.

I didn't have any idea that a secular love song could so easily become worship and surrender.
I didn't have any idea that a quiet drive home in the stillness of my car could bring thankful tears so easily.
I didn't have any idea that the pain of a sister whom I just met could weigh so heavy on my heart.
I didn't have any idea that I could be so close to Jesus,
                    so close that I could feel a rush in my marrow,
                    so close that I could be stilled until I felt the pulsing of every vein,
                    so close that my heart pumped on praise alone for moments at a time,
                    so close that I forget who I was and saw only my Savior.
I had no idea that living in an atmosphere engulfed, entrenched, and enamored with everything that Jesus
                                                  isn't,
could make me love Him all the more for what He
                                                                                     is.


How did He know??
How did the Almighty know that I needed this from the beginning?
How come His glorious plan of redemption was created just so that I could encounter the God of the universe?
Do you see why I feel like He's shown me something sacred?

Everyday is a gift. I know you've heard it, but here it for real now.  This is it. Today is ALL we have.  It's all we have left to be Jesus to those that need Him, all we have left to tell them about the love affair that Jesus longs to be in with them.  It's all we've got.  If you were to die today, could you honestly tell Jesus that you spent every moment on Him, even to your last?

I would give this world up in a second just to be near Him. There's such freedom in being able to honestly say that.

I hope I'm making sense to someone.  I feel better now.  One last thing, I also don't have any idea about how good God actually is.  Isn't it great to worship a God you can never overestimate? Goodnight.