in.

So many times in the bible I come across the phrase "in Christ."
This is me pondering what exactly that means. . .

in Christ,
we have eternal life,
there is no condemnation,
nothing can get between us,
we can speak truth,
we form one body,
we glory in serving,
we are workers,
we are approved,
we are sanctified,
we are given grace,
we are God's sons and daughters,
we have hope,
we are made alive,
and we are saved.

Picture being in a box. In a house. In a room. You're completely surrounded by it on all six sides. If it's red, blue, or yellow, it reflects onto you. If it's lit up, so you are; if it's dark, you can't see. Being in something takes and replaces all of you with itself.  When you're in love, it's your status, it's how you define yourself.  When you say that you're in fear, you can't focus on anything else. When you're in pain, not much can distract you from the hurt. It's all or nothing when you say that you're in. "But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!" Revelation 3:16


God want us to be completely in on Him. And He wants us right beside Him fighting to stay there.  He knows we can't do it, so He sent Someone who could be our way in.  All we have to do is allow Him to enter.

drive.

Picture yourself driving through an unknown land in the dark. You've never been there or seen pictures of it or even heard of what it's like. The only clue you have of it's like is what your yellow headlights can see.  You see a bush here and there, or maybe even some creature scurrying across the road.  You pass a couple signs pointing you in the right direction, but you surely can't see your destination or any other glimpse of it's existence.  The area is vast, unknown, and it's length and depth are unreachable.  Your heart is on edge because you fear what may be around you.  You cast quick glances to each side; your eyes shifting from right to left.  You're making sure of your footing and placement. Making sure you're not being followed and making sure you're safe.  A fear begins to creep that can only be felt in solitude.  You cling tighter to the steering wheel, you're scared of where you've been, where you are, and where you're going. It's all your foot can do but to keep itself on the accelerator.  You're high above the marked speed, but your head doesn't care; your heart is too terrified.

This place is called darkness.

You keep driving; keep pushing that pedal.  Something changes in you and in the expanses around you.  Soft and cool colors begin to form shapes on the horizon.  A mist covers the ground ahead and a pink glow begins to peak over the mountains ahead.  Soon color unfolds itself in the warmest arrays, creating depth and length, perception and texture.  It's the color of dawn.  The spectrum fades into view as your own headlights become obsolete.  Greens, purples, reds.   You realize that you've been in a valley all this time.  A valley lush with the brightest green that your eyes can communicate to you.  A refreshing and comforting feeling overwhelms you as you gaze at the beauty of a Spring morning.  The beauty around you is surreal.  The brightness of the foliage is unfathomable.  Your destination is in full view and you feel safe.  The road in between doesn't phase you because the final goal is being reached.  When you look to your left you see a caravan; you were never really alone.  It was just too dark to see the ones around you.  When you look to your right you see a figure in the seat next to you.  Your eyes squint to see a familiar face.  The figure is asleep; waiting for the dawn as well.  Through the darkness His steadiness and assuredness was right beside you. That figure is Jesus and He is that close to you.  You are still in the valley, but no longer in darkness.  Nothing changed except your perception.  All along you had no reason to fear; no reason to doubt.  You smile as He awakes and rolls down the window.  You breath in the fresh morning breeze.  Then, you thank Him for the night with humble tears because it taught you to trust.

This place is where I am.
<3

"'You of little faith' [Jesus] said, 'why did you doubt?'"

Matthew 14:31

run.

I hate running. I was on a dance squad from elementary school on into Jr. High. I remember days that I would have just finished a measly run "around the church" followed by a six hour practice with hundreds of breaks and I'd plop myself in the car and tell myself that I'd never go back, but I did.  I hated it, yet now I miss it.  I ran full out today for 20 minutes straight, which is a big deal for me because I get short of breath really quickly and my chest gets super tight after just a few minutes.  I've never felt such a lust to keep going like a did today. It comes from within me now, it's a discipline and a battle that the Holy Spirit is helping me to overcome.  Not just with exercising, but with all aspects of my life. It's my turn and I've realized that I must push and push and push, even past where my heart starts aching just so I can reach my goal. "Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." I Corinthians 9:26&27

 I don't hate running so much anymore. I love having that control over my body. I love being able to push past the temptation to quit.  Thank you Jesus. {{<3}}

contented.

It's the middle of the night and there are too many things on my mind to sleep.

I asked God to make me sure-footed and sure-worded in all that I say and do. This is the acknowledgement and affirmation that my Father gave to me . . .  I feel like I've been shown some long lost treasure. Some gem, that even if I were smart or crafty or smooth enough to search it out on my own, I would never ever match up to it.  I feel as though I've been given access to a holy, holy room that only few are chosen for.  Jesus is real, Jesus' love is real, and the bible says that He loves me with a passion that I will never ever be able to measure.  I feel it from my family, I feel it from my friends, I feel it from my dearest, and I feel it in the crystal clear, starry sky tonight.

I didn't have any idea that a secular love song could so easily become worship and surrender.
I didn't have any idea that a quiet drive home in the stillness of my car could bring thankful tears so easily.
I didn't have any idea that the pain of a sister whom I just met could weigh so heavy on my heart.
I didn't have any idea that I could be so close to Jesus,
                    so close that I could feel a rush in my marrow,
                    so close that I could be stilled until I felt the pulsing of every vein,
                    so close that my heart pumped on praise alone for moments at a time,
                    so close that I forget who I was and saw only my Savior.
I had no idea that living in an atmosphere engulfed, entrenched, and enamored with everything that Jesus
                                                  isn't,
could make me love Him all the more for what He
                                                                                     is.


How did He know??
How did the Almighty know that I needed this from the beginning?
How come His glorious plan of redemption was created just so that I could encounter the God of the universe?
Do you see why I feel like He's shown me something sacred?

Everyday is a gift. I know you've heard it, but here it for real now.  This is it. Today is ALL we have.  It's all we have left to be Jesus to those that need Him, all we have left to tell them about the love affair that Jesus longs to be in with them.  It's all we've got.  If you were to die today, could you honestly tell Jesus that you spent every moment on Him, even to your last?

I would give this world up in a second just to be near Him. There's such freedom in being able to honestly say that.

I hope I'm making sense to someone.  I feel better now.  One last thing, I also don't have any idea about how good God actually is.  Isn't it great to worship a God you can never overestimate? Goodnight.