roles.

A man and a woman have roles, God-given roles actually. It's hard to watch so many relationships fail because of misplaced expectations and incorrectly applied roles. The man, the head, is over the woman, not as a demeaning, overbearing master, but as a protector, decision-maker, and servant-leader. The woman, the submissive side, has the job of submitting to the man and supporting him in every aspect of their relationship. When a woman is playing the role of the man (making decisions, leading, directing the relationship) the man either assumes the woman's role or lashes out in different, destructive ways. When a man is more submissive and passive, the woman soon becomes confused and is tempted to take over.

For the girls reading this, realize how much we, as women, have a responsibility to the men in our lives to allow them to be men. Simple things like expecting him to open the door, walk you to your car, and such. Realize that if we don't expect this kind of thing out of them, most men will not think you worth the trouble. Also, realize that as Christian women we are called to be submissive, to God first, then to our husbands and fathers.

For the boys, realize that you are leaders and, even if we girls don't recognize it, we want you to be chivalrous and gallant. We want you to "rescue" us in a way. I believe that we were designed that way. And as men, you are designed to be the rescuers.

I was listening to the radio and a song came on (one of my new favorites). Theory of a deadman's Not Meant To Be are lyrics from a man's point of view of how his relationship with his girl is failing and he doesn't know what to do. As a girl, I sort of read between the lines and I can see how much the girl could have fixed before the relationship got so bad. He says, "It's never enough to say I'm sorry, it's never enough to say I care...no matter what I do, you're always mad, and I can't change your mind." I hear a man who's trying (don't get me wrong, for all I know he could be a total jerk) to fix this problem with their relationship, but she's not helping. From the given information, it sounds to me like the girl had a lot to do with the problem. A man will only feel like he isn't enough if his woman treats him like he is. You know the phrase "Behind every good man, is a good woman." Well, I believe that with all my heart and I've just been realizing that, as women, we have a lot to do with how "good" our man is. In Proverbs 31, a wife of noble character, "brings honor to her husband" and "her husband praises her [for it]." If that wife of noble character had dishonored her husband by making him feel like he wasn't good enough, would he praise her? Probably not, unless he was a saint and was very confident in who he was.

It's vital that women begin to train themselves to think against the culture's views of how they should treat men. We really have more power in this area than we realize, and we can completely destroy men if we're not extra careful. We also have the ability to be play an uplifting and encouraging role in our dad's, brother's, friends', boyfriend's, and, eventually, our husband's lives, and I pray everyday that I can be like that someday.

It really just made me sad to hear this song and realize that the woman obviously blamed the man entirely and didn't even second guess her own motives. Plank...speck...hypocrite...


Theory Of A Deadman - Not Meant To Be

"It's never enough to say I'm sorry
It's never enough to say I care
But I'm caught between what you wanted from me
And knowing that if I give that to you
I might just disappear

Nobody wins when every one's losing

It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I, I can't change your mind
I know it's like trying to turn around on one way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me
And I, I'm starting to see
Maybe we're not meant to be

It's never enough to say I love you
No, it's never enough to say I try
It's hard to believe
That's theres no way out for you and me
And it seems to be the story of our lives

There's still time to turn this around
You could building this up instead of tearing it down
But I keep thinking
Maybe it's too late.

But I'm starting to see,
that maybe we're not meant to be."